


Loving and receiving love are integral parts of being someone - of being a person. Afterwards, however, he discovers that this is untrue and that human affection is still so necessary, and that intelligence alone will not suffice. Before he “went under the surgeon’s knife,” Charlie thought that intelligence led to affection. One of Charlie’s central aims is to understand the relationship between human affection and intelligence. I was somebody before I went under the surgeon’s knife. In fact, Charlie’s progress reports are his own way of imposing a coherent narrative on what has happened to him and what is currently happening to him. With his newfound self-awareness, Charlie also understands that humans are very capable of imposing narratives on their pasts. 64Īfter remembering many of his childhood memories, Charlie has to work at putting together all of his memories and thoughts together into a coherent identity of himself.

One of the things that confuses me is never really knowing when something comes up from my past, whether it really happened that way, or if that was the way it seemed to be at the time, or if I’m inventing it.

He understands that the experiment is artificial, and in an act of humility to nature and the natural forces, he willingly gives himself back up to what he was before. Charlie knows that the other Charlie Gordon (his mentally impaired self) is in the past, and the past is real, and he feels obligated to give this life back to that Charlie. 213Ĭharlie contemplates killing himself as he realizes his mental deterioration, but prevents himself from ever taking any action when he considers his past self. I’ve just borrowed it for a while, and now I’m being asked to return it. But then I think of Charlie waiting at the window. Thoughts of suicide to stop it all now while I am still in control and aware of the world around me. Now that he has been given a new “normal life,” Charlie knows that he must finish this off with fully utilizing it, as a retort to his former mental disability.ĭownhill. Charlie is painfully aware that many people, like Professor Nemur, treat him as though he never really existed as a human being. 218Ĭharlie has come to terms with the temporality of his intelligence, and the temporality of his entire human life, as well. Not of life, or death, or nothingness, but of wasting it as if I had never been.
